The Samurai and the Geisha
by PiFace314
Summary: Can opposites really attract? Oh yes, they sure can! A Kenpachi x Unohana fic.


Hello everyone! Some of you may remember me from my last fan fiction (for Pet Shop of Horrors), or some of you may have just been intrigued by the concept of this fanfic. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, somebody really thought up a Kenpachi x Unohana fanfic. No, I'm not crazy. I actually thought this through, and it seemed like a good idea at the time. It's not my opinion I'm concerned about, however, but the opinions of the readers. So, if you read this, please, please, please comment! ***Coughs*** Sorry about that there, folks. Anyhow, without further ado, I present to you "The Samurai and the Geisha"!

When the idea first came into his mind, Kenpachi thought he was going insane. But, if he thought about it, he realized that it made sense. So, okay, he loved her. That much rang true. But, if he were to choose one reason, ah, therein was the problem. For him, at least, it was hard to choose just one reason he longed for her so much. Was it her kind, loving manner? Her willingness to help anybody in need, even an ugly brute such as himself? The way she moved, or spoke, or did just about anything? Her quiet personality, so unlike his own and yet, in many respects, so damn similar? Or maybe he was just attracted to her by the fact that she was so much older and had seen so much of the world. Whatever the cause, these thoughts of Captain Unohana invaded his mind at every waking moment. Kenpachi groaned and slammed his hand on the wall, making just about everyone in the Division Eleven barracks jump in fright. These thoughts would only be distracting on the battlefield. He really had to stop thinking about her.

Unohana was making tea when the notion came to her. She loved Kenpachi Zaraki. It was such a silly thought that she laughed out loud, giving her lieutenant a scare. I mean, she thought to herself, he's just a brute who can only resolve arguments with his sword. Why would I ever love him? But that's exactly why, her heart whispered. Because he is still so enthusiastic about everything he does. Because he can walk away from battle with a broken arm and a punctured lung but still keep smiling. Besides, he is capable of kindness. And she remembered how Zaraki-san took in the girl, his lieutenant. They were always together, and he would always protect the girl, as if his own life depended on it. Not to mention, he was...well, he was exciting. He approached life with such a gung ho attitude that every time she saw him race toward battle with that little girl, Yachiru-san, on his shoulder, her heart leapt. She put the teapot down quietly as a tear rolled down her face. She had to stop thinking about him. Work came first. It always came first, every single time.

The two would-be lovers never met very often. Formal gatherings didn't last very long, and Kenpachi was usually too stubborn to go to Squad 4, unless Unohana insisted. And when she insisted, he'd go there as fast as if his life depended on it, which, usually, it dd. But often, he was free to choose if he wanted to go or not. This time, however, there really wasn't much choice in the matter.

Kenpachi dropped his third and fifth seats on the floor. He was heaving, sweat coming down his forehead in waves. His seated men, Ikkaku and Yumichika, had been several times in the stomach, and each been bitten once or twice. Yachiru had been fortuitously clobbered over the head early on in the battle and hadn't sustained major injuries, although she was still unconscious. However, Kenpachi had received three stomach wounds, two stab wounds between his shoulder blades, a couple of busted ribs, three bites on his leg, and a broken nose, Kenpachi was very sturdy, but he looked ready to collapse right there and then. It was right about that time when someone decided to call in Unohana to help with the Captain.

Unohana sat close to Kenpachi's side, fretting over his recklessness. They were in her private quarters, because he needed to be in a secluded location to heal. It hadn't been easy, convincing him to actually get the treatment he needed, but after half an hour of begging, pleading, and glaring on the part of Unohana and her fellow Division Four shinigami, he finally gave in. Now they were in her rooms, and she felt so nervous. Why did she feel so nervous? Was it because she was in the same room as he was? Damn it, she was just so scared. Unohana took a deep breath and whispered, "Are you ready for this, Zaraki-san?"

It was pretty unusual to have a woman probing around his body, but then, Kenpachi figured, at least she was a professional. Every time she touched another part of his body that was painful, she would start to chant, and then it seemed as if the pain was being lifted away. Probably some more of that kido mumbo-jumbo crap. Well, whatever. Kenpachi had never really wrapped his head around the idea that battle wounds could really be healed with some random words and frantic arm waving.

Unohana had finished healing most of Zaraki-san's wounds, and she was ready to call it quits when she sensed a troubling injury in his heart. She turned frantically to the injured captain. "Zaraki-san? Did they injure you anywhere close to your heart?" Kenpachi had turned his head toward the window. "Eh, what? Oh, no, no, the bastards didn't even get close." Unohana would have liked to point out that the stomach was actually pretty close to the heart, but now was not the time for an anatomy lesson. She had to figure out what was wrong with him. "Well then, have you ever had any history of heart disease?" At that question he gave a short, sharp laugh, but when he turned his head back towards her, his eyes seemed so sad. " Unohana, the only type of heart disease I know is heartbreak." Unohana bit her lip. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and what Zaraki-san's eyes were telling her was "I know I love you, and I know that you love me, so please accept me, flaws and all." It took only a second, but a second can be a long time. She closed her eyes. Her lips met his.

God only knows how long they had kissed. It could have been an hour, could have been five seconds. Mountains could have crumbled, typhoons could have raged through the streets, hell, the whole damn planet could have exploded and they wouldn't have separated for anything. They loved each other that much. Finally, finally, they reluctantly separated. Unohana's eyes were red and rimmed with tears. In Kenpachi's eyes, there was only gratitude and, perhaps, a small, small tear that only the most observant would have seen fall to the floor. He stood up. "So, Captain Uno-" Uohana shook her head. "Please, just call me Retsu." At this, Unohana blushed. Perhaps it was too soon. But whatever the case, she felt sure that she wanted to let him call her by name.

Kenpachi chuckled. "Well then, Retsu, if we're using first names now, just call me Kenpachi. Anyways, I'm just gonna freshen up. Mind pointing me towards the bathroom?" Unohana pointed the way, then Kenpachi turned to give her a mock salute and left. Unohana gave a little smile to herself. Now she knew why princesses were so content waiting for someone to rescue them: because they knew that they would never be disappointed. And so, Unohana waited for her not-so-charming prince to come back.

Well, that's just about it, then. Sorry if I'm not so good at writing romantic stuff, but at least I tried, right? Anyways, that was my not very impressive Kenpachi x Unohana fanfic. Please tell all your friends to read this, and if you liked it, comment! If you didn't like it, you can comment too. Anways, thanks for reading this! ***Waves***


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